Goodbye Calvin
with love to an old friend
Calvin died on Monday.1
In 2009 we drove eight hours to rescue him from an unhappy first home.
We called him our Baltimore Blizzard Boykin.2
He got car sick on the long trip back to New Hampshire.
But when we arrived, all was well.
A fifteen year adventure together.
Calvin loved to swim…
…and run…
and take long walks…
and play fetch. Lots of fetch.3
He was a wonderful big brother to Lilly and taught her how to dig in the sand…
and come when called…
and chill out at the end of long day.
Calvin loved to snuggle, especially when anxiety overcame. When we first met, he crawled into my arms, where he rested on his last day as well.
It’s true when I say Calvin really loved to run and swim.
When arthritis crippled him, he kept trying, even just weeks ago.
But at a certain point, life gets hard and it’s time to sleep…
…with a view of the pond he loved…resting in woods he knew so well.
A good life. A good death.
Thank you, Calvin, for being part of our family.
We’ll miss you.
Take care,
Lyn
Saying goodbye is never hard, but the more we talk about it, the easier it can be to process.4 Please join this ongoing conversation about regeneration, transformation and renewal by sharing any words of wisdom you may have about losing a forever friend like Calvin…and getting to the other side of sadness.
Thank you for sharing your time and this space with me. I am grateful for your companionship. If you are inspired by this post, please share 13 Tons of Love with others on Substack and beyond.
Finally, in honor of Calvin’s death, I’ve decided to make a small donation to the Humane Society’s Emergency Animal Relief Fund. If you are so inspired, please join me. I am grateful to the Humane Society for stepping in year after year to help animals in need after an increasing number of climate-related disasters throughout the United States.
According to The National Animal Interest Alliance (I’ve never heard of them, but it popped up on Google with this data) 52 million dogs live in 35 million households in the United States and about 6.2 million die each year - - 3.8 million in homes, at the Vet or under the wheels of a car; Another 2.4 million dogs each year in shelters.
As with last week, I am struck by the balance between the “millions of dogs die every day, it’s not big deal” state of mind, and the reality of the death of our particular dog and our attachment to him.
I am grateful that we were able to provide Calvin a life and death with filled with love and dignity.
We had planned on driving to Baltimore on December 19, spending the night of the 18th with family along the way…but a blizzard was coming up the east coast that was projected to close interstates. So on the evening of the 18th we drove right into the storm, arriving at a motel just as the first flakes fell. We awoke on the 19th to 8 or so inches of snow, but with our trusty Subaru, we drove along unplowed roads to gather our pup. We stayed the night in a pet friendly motel, ordered pizza I think, and drove home on the 20th, once the roads were clear. It was a cozy beginning!
Calvin was a Boykin Spaniel, a cross between an American Water Spaniel and a Chesapeake Bay Retriever.
I learned about Boykin Spaniels from my in-laws. When I was first introduced to my husband’s family’s dog, Penelope, it was captivated by her eyes, size and attentive disposition.
The Boykin Spaniel is a medium-sized breed of dog, a Spaniel bred for hunting wild turkeys and ducks in the Wateree River Swamp of South Carolina, in the United States. It is the state dog of South Carolina, where it was discovered and further developed by hunters in the early through mid 1900s. And who knew that in 1984, September 1 became the official Boykin Spaniel Day in South Carolina. (Thank you Wikipedia)
If you have been reading 13 Tons of Love for a while, you know I have a thing about Goodbye Stories (Re-Framing Whitman, A Goodbye Story and Walking with Grief are two examples). It feels like learning to say goodbye and leaning into the sadness is a thing that takes practice…and an acknowledgement that it is hard…and beautiful.
I guess this whole ‘Goodbye Story’ framework (if that’s what a person could call it) also helps with letting go of old ideas or ways of being - - like composting an old diploma, for example (The Origin Story, Part 4 - Meaning).
Oh Calvin.💔 Sniff. What a sweetie. What a grand life.
So sorry about Calvin! Hug Lilli for me